Connecting with and Serving Customers Start with Us

When we are at work, do we often get the results and outcomes we want? Do we expect our satisfaction or happiness to be coming from an external source? If this [fill in the blank happens], then I will be happy and peaceful [fill the “feel-good” emotion].

Day-to-day, we will run into some glitches (or are they?), customers who get anxious, behavior that affect us negatively. This stuff happens. The outcome is out of our control, but the beauty is in us. Things we identify or label as "bad." But does it have to affect us or be "bad?" Do we think that waiting for people to change their behavior will change the way we are feeling? We can feel great one moment and then feel agitated by something else. How do we stay fresh? 

It starts with the fundamental relationship with yourself. How do you do it? Do you play sports? Do you dance? Do you listen to music? How do you enjoy and reach your innermost bliss and ecstasy, reaching your deepest deep? It is much more apparent.

So when we are in a role that is customer-facing, realize that you have the power to respond, not be caught up in the thoughts and emotions of others and expressing kindness to yourself and in turn to everyone around you. Our breath is a gift. You are brilliant.

Here's an exercise to try and see how it feels for you: (Remember no expectations.)

Each in-breath and each out-breath. Watch it come and go. 

Watch the emotions that arise. Watch the thoughts that come. 

Note that the feelings and thoughts are there; let go and go back to watching your breath. (Letting go is just not following the thought or emotion. That’s all there is to it.)

Note it. (Thoughts and emotions will come.)

If you are curious to learn more, check out a cool app called “Headspace."

While you are at it, I found this tune to pause in the day. Look out the window and take a walk. Self-care loves.

Community

I moved to the Bay Area after having lived in Ohio for so many years. I saw myself working for a great startup with enthusiastic, curious, growth-oriented individuals. I was full of hope and excitement, thinking that I would find a job in three months. Well, that has not happened yet. This idea of getting a job in no time shattered before my eyes. I grew doubtful. I felt like I was weird, and I do not belong.

I internalized a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Seeing I do not have any relevant "hard" skills. I found myself doubting my worth more and more here in Silicon Valley. Something inside me shifted, where I felt defeated, hopeless, lonely, and depressed. My mind kept playing this game that I am "unemployable" here and ever. I played a thought where I am too soft, too imaginative, too empathic, to get hired here. I felt like I was an alien. In the process, I thought I lost my dream of wanting to help people, my purpose.

When I began volunteering, attending meetups, mixers, networking events, meeting lots of incredibly amazing Millenials throughout the Bay Area, I hear the struggle of isolation and loneliness. Dignity is critical. How do we measure success? When we struggle to compare ourselves with those who have a great list of accolades, status, we do not realize this impact.

It is essential to learn to communicate and cultivate relationships with people. To foster a relationship, it starts with ourselves. It begins with a leap of faith; trusting and respecting, and, most importantly, seeing the value of people. Listening without judgment and being curious without the need to respond to fix things. Empowering people to succeed, trusting them to figure out a solution, surrendering for the need to control. Give them the tools to grow. That tool is freedom and dignity. Every single individual has their own personhood and must be respected, not shamed, but valued and celebrated. It is not a natural skill, but who says it is easy? There is hope. It takes a little love and imagination.

We are interconnected. We impact each other. Our words, our thoughts, our inner monologue, and dialogue play a part in how we relate to the world around us. When we are given a sense that there is a community, things shift. People want to feel valued and needed. It is not the reverse. When we empathize, listen, observe, and refrain from judging, community happens. Things are possible. Look at people. We would be amazed at what things we can do together. This article reminds me never to give up.

The Takeaway and Practice:

Every moment of fear, pain, frustration, and vulnerability [you name it] is a window of opportunity to look inward gracefully. Practice self-care, acknowledging any anxiety, depression, frustration, and grow into the best version of ourselves. Little by little as we go inward, we can go out in the world and help a person work towards being the best version of themselves. You are beauty. You are the creator. You are joy.

The feel good song: Dreams Tonite by Alvvays

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Labor of Love

If we are going out into the world to be and live our life to create impact into this world through epic servitude, we owe it to ourselves to get into the grittiness of ourselves. Looking inward and deeply embracing what is there. Life happens. We are constantly impressed by someone or something. Sometimes there are moments where we are able to slow down, pause, and events in our life, we are given the opportunity to observe (if we let it) and see this (put something into action). If we are lucky enough, we get to see this raw being we call ourselves. It is a window. Now the next thing is to whether look through or go through; opening it or keeping it closed. You have the power more than you think. Whether you like it or not, we are just hitting the surface. If you want to dig deeper, seek those who will guide; empower, cultivate courage and trust within you, break the limitations for you to discover and explore this to get to love for yourself and to the world. All power to you.

Tilting to a little thing: When we were little girls and boys, what sparked stuff within us? When did you get to sit down with your family or friends, sit quietly and learn to open perspective? When was the last time you did something new and get out there? When was the last time you fell in love with the person talking to you just through listening intently (you not listening to respond but hearing) and allowing them to flower like a lotus flower? So many possibilities. What is your intention for all this? Who do you thank? Who do you celebrate? Who do you respect? Who do you trust? Questions are endless. The spark is within you. You are the creator and designer of your life.

Exercises to start:

Get out in the world. Have dinner with friends and turn off your phone. Talk to random people or with a person you love that you haven’t talked to. Initiate a conversation and bring a vulnerable topic. See what happens when you do something opposite you are told or heard to do.

Playlist: Songs that bring you joy.

Hope you find yourself lit up with this. Remember your mind is powerful. You are enough. You are beautiful. Rock your love.

Abundance

Remember my last post about going out to meet people face-to-face?

Aww, San Francisco, since that night at 111 Minna Gallery, I have so much more to be thankful for. I have met countless individuals who are getting out there taking steps toward their dream…a manifestation. I had this feeling of abundance come over me that night. I cannot emphasize enough how going out to meet people and learning about every single person you meet can be a gateway (if you want) to learning about yourself and what is most important to you (value). It is an investment, a currency. No matter how small, it’s the quality of the attempt.

Questions to ask oneself: Who am I?

Things that would help you along for reflection: In terms of headspace, mindset and/or values, where were you...what did you find; how did you view failure? As far as your expectations, how did this impact and/or help you? With what stuff are you vibing? What does happiness look like to you now? How are you going to make it happen? Which tools are helping? Who are the people pumping you up? Fill in the question.

The common denominator is the commitment to discover oneself, and there are so many values out there to be found and explored. It is a great feeling to find out what we hold dear. Staying focused, having a clear vision, and making sure at the end of the day, we create time to stop, rest, have fun and care for our well being so the vision remains clear.

This information will serve as a guide as you manifest your vision, embark on your dream. Fill in the blank. Let this help you get aligned whether it is a job search, career move, change of environment even a move to a place you dream of. You have the power to create your life.

Caveat: Just like a garden, it takes intention, care, persistence, consistency, and time. When things don’t go as planned, adjust, adapt, iterate. Be kind to yourself. Cultivate joy.

Hope this opens things up for you. What’s on your playlist right now? Hope it’s sparking creativity within you that you lose track of time. Cheers. <3

On Vision, Willingness and the spirit of Volunteerism

Whatever we decide we want to do in our life, it is a practice to have vision. What is that vision? How will our mindset be? When we step into a space, how will our energy be? Before we start something, be aware of our experience and our headspace. With what are we identified? How does this create openness within us?

It is the spirit of cultivating an energy of willingness. The energy of openness and no ego. The energy of doing what it takes to make things happen, create possibility and opportunity. The minute we categorize and measure that it is good or bad, what do we notice in ourselves? How can we become cognizant of how things feel in our experience?

What daily practice helps you kickstart your day and create a higher consciousness? I hope this inspires you to find a practice where you already find joy right in front of you and expand happiness to community, world, you fill the blank. It is within. Much love.