inward
Look back to pay respects but not pine for what was lost.
Look back, meet grace in her eyes and bow for thanks.
Look back to gain clarity and wiping the foggy windows clear peering into it with giddy love.
You are the cosmos. How beautiful you are. You ant…you cicadas who wake and sing…you lightning bugs shining your candles for love…you purring cat being held…you smiling dog in my arms…you man holding my hand showing me your city…you dancing woman in the moonlight in our nakedness xoxo
I moved to the Bay Area after having lived in Ohio for so many years. I saw myself working for a great startup with enthusiastic, curious, growth-oriented individuals. I was full of hope and excitement, thinking that I would find a job in three months. Well, that has not happened yet. This idea of getting a job in no time shattered before my eyes. I grew doubtful. I felt like I was weird, and I do not belong.
I internalized a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Seeing I do not have any relevant "hard" skills. I found myself doubting my worth more and more here in Silicon Valley. Something inside me shifted, where I felt defeated, hopeless, lonely, and depressed. My mind kept playing this game that I am "unemployable" here and ever. I played a thought where I am too soft, too imaginative, too empathic, to get hired here. I felt like I was an alien. In the process, I thought I lost my dream of wanting to help people, my purpose.
When I began volunteering, attending meetups, mixers, networking events, meeting lots of incredibly amazing Millenials throughout the Bay Area, I hear the struggle of isolation and loneliness. Dignity is critical. How do we measure success? When we struggle to compare ourselves with those who have a great list of accolades, status, we do not realize this impact.
It is essential to learn to communicate and cultivate relationships with people. To foster a relationship, it starts with ourselves. It begins with a leap of faith; trusting and respecting, and, most importantly, seeing the value of people. Listening without judgment and being curious without the need to respond to fix things. Empowering people to succeed, trusting them to figure out a solution, surrendering for the need to control. Give them the tools to grow. That tool is freedom and dignity. Every single individual has their own personhood and must be respected, not shamed, but valued and celebrated. It is not a natural skill, but who says it is easy? There is hope. It takes a little love and imagination.
We are interconnected. We impact each other. Our words, our thoughts, our inner monologue, and dialogue play a part in how we relate to the world around us. When we are given a sense that there is a community, things shift. People want to feel valued and needed. It is not the reverse. When we empathize, listen, observe, and refrain from judging, community happens. Things are possible. Look at people. We would be amazed at what things we can do together. This article reminds me never to give up.
The Takeaway and Practice:
Every moment of fear, pain, frustration, and vulnerability [you name it] is a window of opportunity to look inward gracefully. Practice self-care, acknowledging any anxiety, depression, frustration, and grow into the best version of ourselves. Little by little as we go inward, we can go out in the world and help a person work towards being the best version of themselves. You are beauty. You are the creator. You are joy.
The feel good song: Dreams Tonite by Alvvays
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If we are going out into the world to be and live our life to create impact into this world through epic servitude, we owe it to ourselves to get into the grittiness of ourselves. Looking inward and deeply embracing what is there. Life happens. We are constantly impressed by someone or something. Sometimes there are moments where we are able to slow down, pause, and events in our life, we are given the opportunity to observe (if we let it) and see this (put something into action). If we are lucky enough, we get to see this raw being we call ourselves. It is a window. Now the next thing is to whether look through or go through; opening it or keeping it closed. You have the power more than you think. Whether you like it or not, we are just hitting the surface. If you want to dig deeper, seek those who will guide; empower, cultivate courage and trust within you, break the limitations for you to discover and explore this to get to love for yourself and to the world. All power to you.
Tilting to a little thing: When we were little girls and boys, what sparked stuff within us? When did you get to sit down with your family or friends, sit quietly and learn to open perspective? When was the last time you did something new and get out there? When was the last time you fell in love with the person talking to you just through listening intently (you not listening to respond but hearing) and allowing them to flower like a lotus flower? So many possibilities. What is your intention for all this? Who do you thank? Who do you celebrate? Who do you respect? Who do you trust? Questions are endless. The spark is within you. You are the creator and designer of your life.
Exercises to start:
Get out in the world. Have dinner with friends and turn off your phone. Talk to random people or with a person you love that you haven’t talked to. Initiate a conversation and bring a vulnerable topic. See what happens when you do something opposite you are told or heard to do.
Playlist: Songs that bring you joy.
Hope you find yourself lit up with this. Remember your mind is powerful. You are enough. You are beautiful. Rock your love.