I moved to the Bay Area after having lived in Ohio for so many years. I saw myself working for a great startup with enthusiastic, curious, growth-oriented individuals. I was full of hope and excitement, thinking that I would find a job in three months. Well, that has not happened yet. This idea of getting a job in no time shattered before my eyes. I grew doubtful. I felt like I was weird, and I do not belong.
I internalized a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Seeing I do not have any relevant "hard" skills. I found myself doubting my worth more and more here in Silicon Valley. Something inside me shifted, where I felt defeated, hopeless, lonely, and depressed. My mind kept playing this game that I am "unemployable" here and ever. I played a thought where I am too soft, too imaginative, too empathic, to get hired here. I felt like I was an alien. In the process, I thought I lost my dream of wanting to help people, my purpose.
When I began volunteering, attending meetups, mixers, networking events, meeting lots of incredibly amazing Millenials throughout the Bay Area, I hear the struggle of isolation and loneliness. Dignity is critical. How do we measure success? When we struggle to compare ourselves with those who have a great list of accolades, status, we do not realize this impact.
It is essential to learn to communicate and cultivate relationships with people. To foster a relationship, it starts with ourselves. It begins with a leap of faith; trusting and respecting, and, most importantly, seeing the value of people. Listening without judgment and being curious without the need to respond to fix things. Empowering people to succeed, trusting them to figure out a solution, surrendering for the need to control. Give them the tools to grow. That tool is freedom and dignity. Every single individual has their own personhood and must be respected, not shamed, but valued and celebrated. It is not a natural skill, but who says it is easy? There is hope. It takes a little love and imagination.
We are interconnected. We impact each other. Our words, our thoughts, our inner monologue, and dialogue play a part in how we relate to the world around us. When we are given a sense that there is a community, things shift. People want to feel valued and needed. It is not the reverse. When we empathize, listen, observe, and refrain from judging, community happens. Things are possible. Look at people. We would be amazed at what things we can do together. This article reminds me never to give up.
The Takeaway and Practice:
Every moment of fear, pain, frustration, and vulnerability [you name it] is a window of opportunity to look inward gracefully. Practice self-care, acknowledging any anxiety, depression, frustration, and grow into the best version of ourselves. Little by little as we go inward, we can go out in the world and help a person work towards being the best version of themselves. You are beauty. You are the creator. You are joy.
The feel good song: Dreams Tonite by Alvvays