I was recently given the opportunity to take a look inside myself and examine my intentions, my true intentions. I haven’t been in a committed romantic relationship in years. I felt I needed the time and space to look at what I was doing, since I felt a sense of void and unhappiness when I was much younger, often seeking external pleasures and needs. I realized I was always “with a guy” since I left home, not really having the opportunity to figure out what I wanted in life, in myself, for the world around me. I was a late bloomer but to me, it didn’t really matter. I found myself turning 41 and not being happy with myself and who I have become as half of a couple. I never imagined life without anyone. I never imagined being alone. At the point, I felt like I was going through the motions of the so-called falling in love with an idea, an idea of a person or “the perfect relationship.”
I will forever be grateful to all my former boyfriends who shared their life with me during those years of coupledom.
The years of solitude and self-imposed singleness has allowed me to see things for what they are. For this, I am grateful for all that time, now and ever.
*My companion, imaginary boyfriend, and teacher during the years of solitude* - this list will continuously grow as I remember them.
Books with magic (Support your local bookstore):
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
How Proust Can Change Your Life: Not a Novel by Alain de Botton
Education thru music and record labels to be grateful for:
Mexican Summer, a record label >> https://www.mexicansummer.com
Drag City, another record label >> https://www.dragcity.com
Secretly Canadian >> https://secretlycanadian.com
Asthmatic Kitty >> https://asthmatickitty.com
Merge Records >> https://www.mergerecords.com
Health and self-care practices
Isha Yoga, my meditation and yoga practice, technologies for well-being >> https://isha.sadhguru.org/us/en
Pecha Kucha, death to PowerPoint and boring bullet points >> https://www.pechakucha.com
Headspace, bringing health and happiness to the world >> https://www.headspace.com
School of Life, learning to embrace our flawed self >> https://www.theschooloflife.com